Friday, October 17, 2014

So I have been thinking allot about marriages lately.(  I want to preface this by making it clear I am not judging bragging or anything of the sort.  I am not saying everyone should stay in doomed marriages or be door mats or condemning people for divorce nor am I saying to give up and get divorced.)  I have just had the thoughts running through my head of how every marriage is different. Since everyone was built on a different foundation and each one has different people in it with different standards and needs and believes and has different problems, every one also has a different amount of strengths and breaking points.  

I was talking to a gf the other day who was just frustrated that she was in a argument with her hubby, but they couldn't get past it and move on because it is harvest time and he isn't home long enough to get through to the other side.  So frustrating.  I have been there.  This probably isn't a big deal breaking fight but a frustration. My advice was just wait it out they will be fine and while it isn't easy every hurdle you get past in your marriage makes it stronger.  

That lead me to think about the trials and tribulations my marriage has been through.   We aren't perfect we are normal people. We have had money troubles. Where you are always on edge and bickering because its stressful trying to make ends meet with young kids.  We have had opposite schedules. Where he works when I am home and vice versa.  That didn't work well at all for us.  We wrote notes in a note book almost every day but we need to be together that just wasn't for us.  I have a gf that her and her hubby do that all the time to avoid daycare and it works for them but I know in my marriage it doesn't. 

We have had power struggles with families (meh inlaws lol).  Huge moves where we moved away from friends family and our home for my hubbies job.  We have had medical troubles and babies.  We have grown up from young adults, who like to go out and have drinks and party, to parents who don't see the value in that.  Everything changes and goes through seasons.  While this isn't the steamiest time in our marriage, having a one year old..not enough sleep...not enough energy..and being the heaviest me and my hubster have been at...probably ever.  but it is one of the happiest.  We are comfortable and feel loved and there isn't as many stresses and worries and external factors. 

While I feel like I am happy and great and could weather the storms, I think of things some of my gf's have been through with husbands who have had full blown affairs where they left them and the  horrible betrayals and they have worked through it and are back together.  I know that is something that would be beyond the weight limit of my own marriage and it would snap under that.  But I think about my advice to my gf about the harder the times you weather, the stronger it feels like your marriage is and I think maybe they just have a stronger marriage then even mine....who knows.  

I just know the longer I am married and the more I see, the less I judge.  I love all my gf's and if they are happy I am happy.  I am off for a weekend with the hubby while my sis in law takes our monkeys for us I will miss them, but I am looking forward to a good nights sleep and some relaxing date nights with my hubby.  I hope what ever your troubles are right now the scales tip and things balance out and you can just enjoy life this weekend.  Have a good one guys.

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